The single book on leadership you should (re)read

Business books tend not to last for long. As generations go past, trends change. What had been hot two decades ago is history today.

Last summer, on a lovely day on a Croatian beach, I am reaching out for my holiday read and I smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a young girl bent over the very same book: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. I and my beach neighbour hide in the shade of a pine tree and read a guide on how to deal with people. So much for the generation gap.

The book was first published in 1936. Before World War II, in a world without the internet, smartphones, and COVID. How can it be of any use in today’s context? It turns out that the rules governing interpersonal relations did not change much. The last 100 years were a gigantic leap in technological development. Meanwhile, throughout centuries humans seem to have the same expectations toward other people. We want others to smile, listen to us, and understand our perspective. It’s as simple as that — we like people who appreciate us, who help us achieve our goals, and for whom we are important.

Carnegie was conducting public speaking courses for business and professional men and women. Soon he realized that “these people needed, even more, training in the fine art of getting along with people in everyday business and social contacts.”

They were millionaires. They could buy anything they wanted but they were lonely, unhappy, and burned out. Many of them fell into the trap of the belief that you climb to the top alone and over dead bodies. Carnegie refutes this myth. We can achieve true fulfillment in business and life only by building positive relationships with other people.

If you want to be successful in business, you need to learn how to be successful with people.

Dale Carnegie wrote a simple and practical book. He shares stories about people who changed their lives and their businesses by changing their approach to others.

The principles that Carnegie shares in his book are fundamental truths that we all tend to forget about.

• Don’t criticize, complain or condemn.
• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Smile (This is the simplest way to make a good first impression).
• Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say: “You are wrong.”
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Dale Carnegie encourages readers to interact with his book by underlining important phrases and taking notes in the margins. I have always felt resistance to “writing in a book”, so I did not follow his advice. But I keep Carnegie’s classic close by and keep revisiting it. It reminds me that we cannot achieve much in business without other people. And other people deserve our time, attention, and… smile.

What is a single book on leadership or business that you would recommend?

Photo by Kasia Derenda on Unsplash